


spend your last heartbeat

by Antarctica_or_bust



Series: these ink-stained memories [1]
Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
Genre: 99.9 Percent Canon Compliant, Adrenaline, And Leon is utterly hopeless, And despite all this het to start the endgame will be slash, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkward Flirting, Bisexual Leon Kennedy, Bisexuality, Break Up, Buddy's plaga powers, But Hunnigan is an awesome friend, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Depression, Even more pining, Except they're really just love marks, F/M, Families of Choice, Fic Spans Years, Game: Resident Evil 4, Game: Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles, Grief/Mourning, Hero Complex, Insecurity, Leon Kennedy falls in love too easily, Leon is a badass, Loneliness, M/M, Mike the Helicopter Guy deserves more love, Missing Scene, Movie: Biohazard | Resident Evil: Damnation, Names, Non-Explicit Sex, Off-screen Relationship(s), Pining, Platonic Love, Post-Resident Evil 4, Post-Resident Evil: Vendetta, Rescue Missions, Resident Evil 2, Resident Evil 6, Resident Evil 6 Spoilers, Resident Evil Degeneration - Freeform, Romance, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, This fic will span most of canon, Unrequited Love, but a softie at heart, the angst gets worse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-07-11 16:49:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19931305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antarctica_or_bust/pseuds/Antarctica_or_bust
Summary: Leon always gets attached too easily.





	1. Rookie

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Drinks Are on Me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1372843) by [SkartoArgento](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkartoArgento/pseuds/SkartoArgento). 



> I blame this on the Remake 2. If not for young!Leon's ridiculous face, I wouldn't have been reading old RE fic and that line from Drinks Are on Me (which I did in fact borrow for my story summary) wouldn't have gotten stuck in my head. 
> 
> That said, this is 99.9% canon compliant with the game-verse, except that it takes place in an AU where the people that you love are written on your skin. Just because.

Sarah is the first. She's Leon's high school sweetheart, the girl he plans to marry, and her name curls across his hip in a swirl of gold when he buys that wedding ring.

He thinks the mark is a good omen for their new life in Raccoon City. But before he even shows her, Sarah tells him that it's over, that she has bigger dreams than being some small town copper's wife. Leon tries to change her mind. He says that he'll do better but Sarah will not listen. She dumps him in that coffee shop without a moment's hesitation, the ring he planned to give her burning a hole inside his pocket as she leaves his life for good. Leon couldn't afford anything too fancy, not with his meager savings, but the ring buys a lot of whiskey once he pawns the thing away.

The first bottle makes him angry but the second numbs the pain. So he drinks himself unconscious and then sleeps straight through his alarm. He wakes up seven hours _after_ he was supposed to leave for Raccoon City and he curses Sarah fiercely when he scrambles to his car.

Leon thinks that he might hate her now as much as he still loves her and he wishes he could burn her name right off his skin. She could have told him earlier instead of choosing the worst moment to break his fucking heart. Now he's marked forever and he doesn't know how he's going to forget her. Leon doesn't know if he'll ever be able to see her name there on his hip without feeling like a fool.

The young man speeds to Raccoon City, prepared to do a lot of begging to keep his brand-new job. Leon is expecting to get fired or at least put on probation. But he drives straight into Hell instead and suddenly survival is his top priority.

The rookie is out of his depth, so far beyond his training that it's almost laughable. Indeed, he's tired and hungover, grieving and completely terrified. There’s no strategy at first, just adrenaline and panic as he shoots the shambling corpses that should have been his friends. Eventually he figures out the best ways to kill the monsters but when he has a chance to breathe, Leon can't stop himself from shaking, his rest broken by the warning sounds of footsteps in the dark. 

He’s alone. Utterly alone. But when the young man thinks he might go crazy, Sarah’s name burns on his hip and the reminder keeps him focused when he wants to fall apart.

Sarah will always be his first love, the first name to grace his skin. She's the first person Leon ever loved enough to hurt him and he doubts she even cares that she stomped upon his heart.

And yet…. her actions saved him. If Sarah hadn't dumped him, he wouldn't have gone drinking and the rookies knows that he'd be dead now if he'd gone to work on time. So maybe her mark was a good omen after all. Maybe good can come from bad. There are still survivors here in Raccoon City, people who might need him, and Leon is determined to save everyone he can. 

Himself included, just to spite her. Sarah may have been his first love, be Leon will be damned if she's gonna be the last.

\---

Ada is the second.

The first time Leon meets her, he can't deny that she's suspicious. Although the woman saves his life, she's cryptic and uncaring, distanced from his nightmare by dark glasses and a badge. She won't tell him what's going on, just orders him to help her like she has some kind of right. FBI or not, Leon only goes along with her because he has no better options and the rookie needs every ally he can get if he’s going to survive.

Things don't get much better when they manage to escape from the police station. Ada's expression barely changes when the two of them run into Kendo and see his daughter’s plight. She wants to shoot the girl and Leon can't believe that Ada is so heartless. Who could see this family’s pain and feel no sympathy? 

And yet, the rookie cannot hate her. Not when Ada finally tells him the truth about Umbrella and gives him a new reason to make it out alive. Together the two of them can see Umbrella punished even if no sentence could ever truly fix the horror those people wrought. Leon has to try – he has to believe that there’s still justice – and so he ignores the warning signs.

Ada isn't heartless. She seemed that way at first, but over the course of their long nightmare, he starts to see her softer side. There is a woman underneath the stone-cold agent, one who’s afraid to need him but does it all the same. For her Leon will risk his life. For her he’ll take a bullet and their first kiss is all the sweeter for the threats that they have faced. Indeed, the pain in his shoulder seems to fade at the feel of Ada’s lips and though the rookie barely knows her, he trusts her all the same.

That trust doesn't fade when Annette Birkin says that Ada has been lying from the start. Leon can believe that she's a mercenary. There were parts of her story that seemed a little odd. He can even believe that Ada used him, although he doesn’t want to. But Leon refuses to accept that she doesn’t care at all. 

Maybe he’s being foolish. Maybe the woman saw an easy mark, his desperation for a friendly face amidst the horrors of Raccoon City making him easy to control. 

And yet, when the rookie tests his theory, Ada doesn't prove him wrong. 

She has every chance to shoot him. Leon practically dares her to pull the trigger, swearing that she won’t get her virus sample otherwise. But given the choice between his death and the failure of her mission, Ada spares his life. 

So when the whole place starts coming down and the floor drops out beneath her, Leon doesn’t hesitate. He throws himself forward, barely managing to grab hold of Ada's hand before she plummets out of sight. His shoulder throbs as he slams onto the surviving walkway and his drip on the metal grating is the only think that stops them both from falling to their deaths.

“I've got you,” Leon swears, his teeth gritted against the pain. Ada may have lied about her job; she may have used him to get the virus, but she wasn't bad at heart. Somewhere beneath the mask, there is a person who's worth saving and he will not turn away. The thought makes his shoulder burn and he slips a little further, too injured to lift her but too stubborn to let go. 

Leon would have fallen with her before he broke his promise. Together or not at all; they’re getting out of Raccoon City. But Ada makes the choice that he cannot. She says goodbye and then lets go, falling down into the dark as he watches helplessly.

The young man wants to scream. He wants to weep and crumble but he can't waste her sacrifice. So Leon drags himself back to his feet and throws away the virus that started everything.

He doesn't have the time to mourn. He just shoves the pain aside and focuses on living as a robotic voice counts down to self-destruct. Monsters, zombies, fucking Trenchy, this whole place wants to kill him and he honestly isn't sure how he manages to reach the train in time. But Leon does. He reunites with Claire, is introduced to Sherry, and takes out William Birkin with a massive fireball.

It’s almost surreal to see the sunrise and know that they survived. Honestly, Leon isn’t sure if he wants to laugh or cry when some trucker flips him off instead of stopping and the three of them are forced to walk to the next town. They find a small rundown motel, one that shouldn't care about appearances, and the clerk barely even looks up when Leon rents them a twin room. This kid has no idea what happened in Raccoon City. He’s living next to Hell on Earth and the rookie wants to warn him, but he probably wouldn’t believe their story anyway. 

By now Leon is running on empty. He doesn't have the energy to think about his losses or the horror that he's been through. Indeed, Claire and Sherry aren’t much better and as soon as the door is locked, all three of them just crash. Leon feels like he could sleep for a week but he wakes up a few short hours later, his voice choked on a scream. He can't remember the whole nightmare, but what he does is bad enough, and he stumbles to the bathroom to splash some water on his face.

His reflection looks like hell. Leon’s eyes are haunted, bites and bruises down his neck, and his clothes are covered in things that he doesn't want to think about. Honestly, he’s probably a walking bio-hazard and if he isn't going back to sleep, he might as well clean up.

So the man strips off his filthy shirt and starts unwrapping Ada's bandage, focusing on the moment to keep from cracking utterly. Leon doesn't know how he's supposed to continue after this. If companies like Umbrella can just destroy a city, then what's the fucking point? What's the point of fighting if he can't save anyone? 

These doubts run through his mind and threaten to overwhelm him, a downward spiral that Leon can’t seem to escape. Not until he pulls the last bandage from his shoulder and stops thinking utterly.

Because Ada Wong is scrawled upon his skin in shining scarlet, a red as deep as blood straight across his bullet wound. He's not surprised to see her name; the rookie knows he loved her. But the color of the name means everything. 

Red means that she's still living. Red means that she survived the fall and escaped the lab before destruction. Leon didn't fight for nothing after all. The man has no idea how Ada could have made it, but suddenly the future doesn’t seem so miserable.

Leon doesn't need her to love him back. He just needs to know that his actions made a difference, that someone is still living because of him. 

So he's grateful for her name even though he doubts the two of them will ever meet again. Leon can live with that. At least he’ll always know she’s out there somewhere; that’s enough to give him hope and he’s determined not to lose that spark again. After all, Ada is like the moon: beautiful and distant. She's not for the likes of him.

\---

In contrast, Claire is like the sun. She smiles at him the morning after Raccoon City – filthy, bruised and battered but so beautifully alive – and his heart just skips a beat. This woman is amazing: strong, determined, and so brave, far braver than he feels.

Claire walked into that nightmare a civilian without all of Leon's training and she came out the other side. Not only that, but she managed to save Sherry when he could barely save himself. She’s everything that he admires and cute as hell besides.

When they go out clothes shopping, Claire understands Leon’s paranoia, the way he twitches at the shadows and strangers walking by. The young woman doesn’t judge him; she simply takes over his blind spot and works on keeping Sherry happy and relaxed. He could have loved Claire for that alone and she returns his interest that night in their hotel. He never would have made a move – he's not that great at reading signals – but when she leans up to kiss him, it's fairly obvious.

They keep quiet due to Sherry passed out in the next bed. Leon and Claire don't want to disturb her so they fumble in the dark, laughing quietly when they bang their knees or elbows on the wall. The awkwardness simply makes the moment sweeter, the warmth and touch of skin on skin a comfort for them both.

Leon wakes up with Claire's fingers stroking across his shoulder. He smiles up at her, feeling well-rested and content, happier than he's been in several days. He may not have her name yet but he's certain that he will; he's certain that he'll love her soon enough.

However, Claire starts to pull away from Leon after that. He doesn't know what he did, doesn't understand it. The man just feels her slipping through his fingers as she talks more and more about Umbrella and the need to track her brother down. Leon wants to go with her – he doesn't want to lose her – but when he starts to offer, the words die in his throat. Because someone has to stay with Sherry and he’s afraid Claire will resent him if he tries to hold her back.

So Leon lets her go instead. He tells Claire to call him if she ever needs his help, promising to keep Sherry safe while she is gone. The day she leaves, he hugs her tightly, trying to memorize the feeling of her body in his arms. Leon’s skin is burning by the time that Claire steps back and he doesn't need to look to know that her name is on his heart. Instead, he stands with Sherry and waves at Claire until she’s gone. 

Leon loves her and he misses her but as the weeks pass, the ache of separation begins to fade eventually. Not that he forgets her; there's little chance of that. Indeed, when Claire sends him an SOS from some secret Umbrella prison, his initial instinct is to drop everything. But Leon has his own responsibilities – he still can’t leave Sherry – so instead he calls Claire’s brother as she asked.

Although he's never met Chris Redfield, Leon kind of hates him. If the man had bothered to call his sister, she never would have gone to Raccoon City. She never would have left to find him and she wouldn't have been imprisoned on some deadly piece of rock.

But at least Chris seems to care. Leon can hear the other man's concern when he passes on Claire’s message and from everything he's heard, Redfield has the skill to see his sister home. So Leon tries not to worry after Chris hangs up, though he can’t stop himself from checking on his marking regularly. 

As long as Claire's name shines green across his heart, he knows that she’s all right. And even though she left him, Leon loves her. The world is a better place as long as she’s alive.

\---

He loves Sherry differently. She's so young when they first meet, a scared child trying to be brave, and Leon wants to protect her instantly. He wants to keep her safe and Sherry seems to sense that. The girl latches on to him and Claire after escaping Raccoon City and he can hardly blame her after all that she’s been through. 

If anything, Leon is impressed by her resilience. Sherry has seen more horrors than some battle-hardened soldiers; she was attacked by her own father, but somehow she has the strength to keep on trusting anyway. When he tells her about her mother, the girl asks for a hug without a second’s hesitation and Leon can’t refuse her. He simply opens up his arms and holds her as she cries.

Leon didn't plan to gain a child when he joined the RPD. But he didn’t plan to spend his first day fighting monsters either and as long as Sherry needs him, he can’t abandon her. 

That's part of why he stays when Claire leaves to find Umbrella. Sherry needs stability and Leon is all she has. There’s no one else to step up so he’s going to give her what he can. So he holds onto Sherry’s hand as Claire’s bus drives away and when she starts to sniffle, Leon lifts her in his arms. The girl falls asleep on the way back to their hotel, her head upon his shoulder and her face still damp with tears. He tucks her into bed and kisses her cheek gently, making himself a promise to see her safe and fed. This may not have been the future that Leon was expecting, but as far as he’s concerned, he has a daughter now.

So the young man finds a cheap apartment on the edge of town. He works part-time while looking for a better job and a new school for Sherry, his slim savings dwindling fast as the days fly by. But as long as his girl is smiling, he doesn’t mind the cost.

The agents come for him a month after Raccoon City, not long after he gets word that Chris and Claire both made it out. Stern-faced men in dark glasses knock on his door one evening and he should have run with Sherry, gone out the bathroom window and simply never stopped. But Leon is naive. He still trusts his government to protect the innocent. So the young man goes without a fight and once they threaten Sherry, it’s too late to back out now.

Leon can only take the deal he's offered, hoping that his daughter will get to have a normal life. As long as she's protected, at least she'll have the chance.

For Sherry, he’ll do anything. He agrees to tell these faceless suits what he learned in Raccoon City and to become an agent for the US government. Leon agrees to be their soldier and go anywhere he’s needed in the fight to cleanse the world. In truth, they want his life in exchange for Sherry's safety but it's not as though Umbrella doesn't need destroying and she's worth the sacrifice.

The young man will follow orders as long as his handlers keep their promise in return. Sherry may not be his blood, but he considers her his daughter and she’s the only one that he’ll probably ever have. It's not as though a zombie hunter will have much time to settle down.

So when Leon is taken off to start his training, he makes himself another promise. He’s going to see his daughter as often as he can. She’s going to know that he still loves her despite their separation and if these people ever hurt her, if the name on his heart ever fades because of them, there won’t be a place these men can hide. He’ll destroy their organization from the inside out.


	2. Agent

Four years later, Leon feels much the same about Manuela. Here’s another strong young woman fighting for her life against B.O.W.s and her own father; how could the agent not adore her just for that? He's not sure when her name appears, when admiration and protectiveness turns to love outright. Leon hardly has the time to check when he's running for his life.

This outbreak is enough to give him flashbacks to Raccoon City: the blood and rot and scent of death deep in his lungs. The smell fills his breath and seeps into him like it never left at all.

Yet Leon's hands are steady, every bullet striking true as he shoots the zombies down. In order to protect Manuela, he throws himself into danger without a second's hesitation, Krauser's presence steady at his side.

And yet that's just his job. If Leon has to pick the moment that he starts to love Manuela, it's not when he's saving her at all. It's the moment she decides that she would rather die a human than give into Veronica. She chooses death over the loss of self that her father suffered and Leon can’t allow it. Perhaps it's selfish of him, but the agent has to try. Yet even then she saves him, not the other way around.

Manuela rises wreathed in fire, bending the virus to her will through sheer determination. She fights for her own future and with her help, Leon and Krauser manage to take her father down.

When the dust has finally settled, the agent asks her if she's willing to return to the US. Although he doesn't trust his agency completely, there's nowhere else to take her, not with the virus still burning in her blood. Leon doesn’t sugarcoat it. He tells Manuela the truth because he refuses to lie after all that she's been through. 

Leon admits that she won't have real freedom. She’ll be monitored at all times to make sure she doesn’t turn. But the agent promises to keep her human, no matter what it takes, and visit when he can. Manuela walks into her prison with her eyes wide open and for that he loves her more.

So Leon makes another deal. He sells his soul a little more. The frail and tattered thing can hardly spare the pieces, but it's a cost that he pays gladly. The agent can manage with what his handlers choose to give him. He doesn’t need hazard pay, backup, or vacations as Sherry and Manuela are both still taken care of. The girls could use a friend and watching them together, something deep in Leon’s heart says, _This is my family._

\---

Krauser though, Krauser is a surprise. Not because he's a man; Leon has always been more interested in people than their genders and he's been drawn to men before. But usually they're nice guys, ones who care about other people and always try to do what's right.

Krauser isn’t nice. He's a soldier through and through, focused solely on the mission, and he doesn't seem to like his new partner very much. When Leon tries to shake his hand, Krauser sneers dismissively and the agent has to work to bite his tongue. He's not the one who arrived late to their first meeting – he got here on time even though his plane was shot down – and he doesn't need some roid-rage soldier second-guessing him. But there's no point in angering the other man right before a mission and when shit hits the fan, Krauser has his back.

The soldier faces the zombies and the monsters with professionalism even if he doesn’t quite manage to take them all in stride. He’s willing to follow Leon’s lead once he realizes that the agent has experience with B.O.W.s and he asks for more information when they have a chance to rest. 

Leon doesn’t like to talk about Raccoon City but he can’t see a reason to deny the man’s request. There’s no trace of arrogance on Krauser’s face; the question seems sincere and their chances of survival will be better if his partner knows what they’re dealing with. So the agent tells his story and to his surprise, the other man proves an attentive audience.

Krauser may not like Leon but he treats his experience with the respect that he deserves. For the first time in years, someone takes him at his word. There’s no claim that he’s exaggerating or wrong about what happened; the soldier just listens quietly until he finishes.

“You’ve seen some shit, comrade. Glad to have you on my side,” the other man says, clapping Leon on the shoulder and the agent thinks that maybe he can trust him after all.

Several hours later, the two of them are wet and filthy, their clothes covered in blood and muck and fluids that make Leon’s skin start itching if he dwells on them too long. So he slumps against Krauser instead, both men moving slowly as they dry their weapons off. 

He knows the mission isn't over. They need to find Manuela; the girl is in danger every second and they can't afford to waste more time after being caught in Javier's trap. Leon knows this but he just doesn't have the energy to stand. He needs a chance to catch his breath again.

And Krauser understands. He lets the agent talk about T-Veronica until his voice stops shaking and then holds out a hand to pull him to his feet.

However, his partner yanks a bit too hard and Leon stumbles forward, catching himself on Krauser’s chest. He starts to apologize but the words stutter to a halt when he meets the soldier’s gaze. Where there had been disdain at first, now he sees desire and Leon can’t stop himself from leaning in. Krauser bends his head to meet him and suddenly they're kissing, the other man's mouth hot and desperate against his won. His lips are rough and searching as he rolls their hips together and then swallows the agent’s moan. Leon forgets where they are, forgets everything but the heat that scorches through his body and chases away the bitter cold.

“You all right there, partner?” Krauser murmurs when he finally pulls away, his lips curled in a half-smirk. “Not too much for you?”

“Fuck, our timing sucks,” Leon groans in lieu of answering the question. Then he steals one last kiss before stepping back again. “We've got to find Manuela now, but… after?”

“Sure, comrade. After,” the other man promises. The words are a filthy slide against his skin and Leon doesn't want to let this moment end. But he has a duty to Manuela so he shoves those feelings down. The agent can wait. At least now he has something to look forward while he’s fighting for his life. Indeed, Leon finds himself grinning as he and Krauser carve their way through Javier's monsters; for once he has the feeling that things might work out fine.

And for once, there is an after. 

When Javier has been defeated and Manuela's finally safe, Leon and Krauser carve out a few hours for themselves. He brings the soldier back to his apartment and crowds him against the wall, leaning in to claim his mouth again. 

They don't talk about the future; they don't really talk at all. There's no need for talking when they both know where they stand. 

So the agent allows himself to forget the world around them. He focuses on broken moans and whimpers, on the rough calluses that stroke across his skin. Krauser kisses like he's starving, hungry and insistent, and Leon answers him in kind. He wants to drown in the man's touch, lose himself in pleasure until he leaves his ghosts behind.

Krauser doesn't disappoint. Even with one arm bandaged, he quickly takes control and the agent chooses to surrender instead of fighting him. The other man grounds Leon with filthy kisses as he works him open, the aching stretch almost overwhelming when he pushes deep inside. As soon as he adjusts, Krauser starts to move, hard thrusts slamming the bed against the wall. The two men move together until they both find release and Leon slumps onto the mattress with a sigh. Krauser drops down beside him, snoring within seconds, and the agent can't hold back a fond smile at the sight.

Despite their rocky start, Leon likes the soldier and while he doesn't know where this is going, he's hopeful nonetheless. It's been a long time since he had someone he could count on at his back.

Unfortunately, the agent is called in for debriefing before the other man wakes up. He leaves Krauser a note and his number on the bedside table and he's not surprised that the other man is gone when he gets back. The soldier needed to report in and see a doctor for his arm.

However, Leon is not expecting to be shut out utterly. He thought they had an understanding but Krauser never calls him, never returns his messages, and it stings to know that he was just a quick fling after all. The agent feels like an idiot for hoping that they might be something better. It's not as though anyone has ever chosen him before.

But even though he tries to put the soldier from his mind, Leon can't forget their time together. Not when there's a new name scrawled across his knuckles, an all-caps Krauser drawn in sharp black letters, and every time he looks at it, he feels that sting again.

Leon starts wearing gloves after that. Not only for his peace of mind but to hide the mark from others. His coworkers give him enough crap about his names already and while they're kind enough not to mention his lack of family marks, they don't need more ammunition. Adding Krauser to the mix would be throwing fuel upon the fire and the soldier doesn't need that kind of gossip chasing him. Former soldier now and Leon still feels guilty about his partner's injury. He should have protected Krauser better; maybe then he would have stayed.

It's Leon's fault that the other man was fired and so he keeps his mouth shut a few months later when he's told that Krauser died. The agent knows it isn't true – the color of his mark proves otherwise – but he accepts the soldier's knife as a memento anyway. If his former partner wishes to disappear that badly, Leon cannot bring himself to reveal his secret now.

\---

Spain is nothing but regret. It's a perfect storm of past and present that leaves him grieving and exhausted with new words upon his skin. Too many words, his bleeding heart still falling easily.

Yet, how could he not care for Ashley when she's another innocent, caught up in a nightmare far out of her control? The girl does not deserve this but she's surprisingly resilient and she does her best to fight. Although she's clearly terrified, Ashley doesn't let that stop her and Leon loves her for her courage as much as her stubbornness. It may be his job to rescue her from the plagas and from Saddler's master plan, but he wants to do this. Like with Sherry and Manuela, he would have done it anyway.

The thought of Ashley keeps him moving when he wants to collapse right where he stands. She keeps him focused on his mission when he's running low on bullets, forced to wade through mobs of ganados with his knife and kicks alone. Leon refuses to give up when Ashley has put her faith in him; he's going to deserve it if it kills him and he'll gladly fight an army to bring her home again.

At least the agent isn't forced to fight them all alone.

Luis is a pool of calm in the midst of all the chaos. Another gun at his back, another friendly soul to fight the monsters; maybe Leon latches on too quickly, but he's learned to take his comfort where he can.

The other man doesn't seem to mind his overtures. He meets the agent's awkward flirting with much smoother lines, their interactions filled with heat and laughter that warms Leon to the bone. After they fight off a horde of ganados, Luis backs him up against a wall and smiles, brushing dirt and blood away from the agent's cheek. Leon doesn't resist when the other man leans forward, just lets that sweet mouth steal what little breath he has. It feels like a promise for the future, for when they both get out of here, and he looks forward to their next meeting, brief though it may be,

Indeed, Leon is bruised and aching when he reaches Salazar's strange castle but the sight of Luis still makes him smile anyway. The other man is obviously worried about the agent and his charge, particularly when they admit that they've started coughing blood. But Luis doesn't allow that news to bring him down for long.

Instead, he promises to find them help and then saunters off again, blowing Leon a kiss when Ashley looks away. The girl wants to follow him but the agent doesn't take it personally. He wants to follow Luis too, his eyes drifting down to watch that gorgeous ass. But if the other man can really find a solution to their plagas, having to watch Ashley would only slow him down. At least Luis manages to let the girl down gently and as Leon watches him strut off, he can't help thinking, _Damn, I love that man._

Whether just as friends or something more, he's glad he met Luis and the agent can only sigh when he looks down and sees another name scrawling itself across his arm. Leon really is hopeless with matters of the heart.

Meeting Ada again only proves his foolishness. He's heard rumors of her actions through the years and he’s not the naive rookie that he used to be. Leon knows that she’s a mercenary, selling her services to the highest bidder, and yet the sight of her smirk still makes his heart ache painfully.

Ada is still beautiful. But the woman speaks in lies and riddles and even though he wants to, the agent can’t trust her anymore. Leon still believes that Ada cares about him and for now at least, he thinks she’s on his side. But that doesn’t mean she loves him and it doesn’t mean she won’t betray him. Even if it did, the agent knows it’s hopeless because love isn’t everything. 

Leon could never date a person who takes a contract without considering the people who might be hurt along the way. He could never date a mercenary and he’s not foolish enough to think that Ada plans to change. All he can do is love her and try to stop her when he can. Maybe that means she’ll never stay but the agent has grown used to being lonely; better loneliness than guilt and if it means protecting people, Leon will choose to shatter his own heart every time. He's not afraid of the pain that love can bring.

But he's never lost a name before. He never knew how much it hurts.

When Saddler stabs Luis, Leon feels like he’s the one who’s been impaled straight through the chest. He barely even hears the bastard’s monologue, frozen in horror at the sight in front of him. Then Saddler throws Luis aside as though he’s little more than trash and the agent hates him more than he’s ever hated anyone. He wants to tear him into pieces, but his friend comes first. Leon can’t leave the other man here to die alone.

The agent tries to save him even though he knows it’s hopeless, his hands stained red with blood as Luis spits out his confession. Apparently the other man used to work for Saddler but Leon doesn’t care about the lies. Not when Luis has been trying to atone for his mistakes; he couldn’t ask for more than that. Leon just wants him to keep breathing. But those dark eyes slip closed while the agent watches helplessly and moments later, his arm begins to burn.

He groans with pain as Luis’ name seems to sear his flesh down to the bone, the deep blue mark slowly fading into an ashy grey. However, that agony is nothing compared to the pit within his chest. It’s a black hole of loss and longing that tries to drag him under and Leon clings to Luis’ cooling body desperately.

The other man was supposed to make it out of this alive. They were supposed to leave together and the agent comes damn close to giving up entirely. How is supposed to fight when his heart is bleeding and the brightest thing in this damn place just died because of him?

It’s a long time before Leon manages to walk away and even then, he’s shaky on his feet. He feels unstable and unsettled, his smile an ill-fitting mask when he reunites with Ashley, and he’s not sure how the girl doesn’t see straight through him right away. Maybe she doesn’t notice because she doesn’t want to and it’s probably for the best. If Ashley ever stops believing that he’ll save her, she’ll likely break entirely. Better for them both if she stays optimistic; Leon doesn’t have the strength to carry her as well.

He’s walking on the edge already and when Krauser tries to kill him a few short hours later, the agent nearly buckles beneath the blow. Leon can’t understand how the man he knew became a traitor and he doesn't know how much more his heart can take. The agent doesn't want to fight against Krauser. He still loves his former partner and the thought of losing Krauser's name makes his hands start trembling. He can't face that pain again so soon after Luis.

But the other man doesn’t give Leon another choice. It's fight or die and survival instinct keeps him moving when he might have fallen otherwise. Somehow the agent wins their battle, taking his final key off Krauser's unconscious body, but he cannot bring himself to strike the final blow. Traitor or not, he can’t be the one to take his partner’s life.

So Leon leaves the other man to weather his own explosion and immediately finds himself back in a war zone. This time the agent truly is facing down an army and the relief he feels when his radio crackles nearly brings him to his knees.

He wasn’t expecting actual backup. But here’s Mike anyway.

The helicopter pilot is a breath of fresh air amidst this utter clusterfuck of a mission, his cheerful introduction and seemingly endless bullets giving Leon a second wind. Mike escorts the agent through a maze of ganados and fortified machine guns, the chopper’s missiles making quick work of his enemies. For a few brief minutes, Leon feels like he’s actually in control and he latches onto that sensation with both hands. He desperately needs the respite after the day he’s had.

Without Mike, Leon’s mission would have failed here and he honestly wants to kiss the guy every time a tower blows. So the agent offers to buy the man a drink when all of this is over and he dares to hope that both of them will actually make it out.

Which is when a fiery explosion knocks Mike out of the sky. Sharp and sudden, Leon is blindsided by the loss. He can only shout the pilot’s name and glare at Saddler in the distance, promising himself that the bastard will be next.

The agent keeps that promise despite the grief and exhaustion and the plaga in his chest. Ashley drives him forward although the fight seems hopeless, Ashley and his anger, and eventually, Leon’s stubbornness pays off. Luis may be dead, but the man is not forgotten. His work allows the agent to remove the plagas and without that advantage, Saddler is just a monster to be slain.

And that’s what Leon does. He uses everything he has to destroy the bastard, killing him for Mike, Luis, and Krauser, for Ada and for all the pain that he put Ashley through. 

But even then the mission isn’t over. The agent keeps himself together until Ada has saved him and betrayed him once again, until Ashley is safe at home and he can find a quiet corner in which to patch his wounds. Leon doesn't need the doctors. He isn’t hurt that badly and he doesn't want anyone to see his marks right now.

The faded name upon his arm just makes him miss Luis, the ache of grief cutting through the agent’s numb exhaustion, and when he removes his gloves, the sight of Krauser’s mark is another stab of agony. The once black letters have turned to grey, someone killed the man for good, and even though his former partner was corrupted beyond saving, Leon will still miss him anyway.

So he tries not to think about it as he strips down for a shower and he almost doesn’t notice the word upon his hip. It’s not a true mark really; Mike’s name is so light that it’s barely readable. Just the faintest echo of a friend who could have been.

Yet that's what finally breaks him. Leon crumples to his knees and weeps now that no one’s here to see him, sobbing for missed chances and the lives he couldn't save. The agent can’t regret his marks. He’d rather bear the weight of death than forget his memories. But between the losses and betrayal, Leon is almost ready to give up on love entirely.


	3. Soldier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there's some disagreement on spelling, but I played a lot of RE4 and she will always be Hunnigan to me.

Angela sweeps those doubts away. She's a hero through and through, perhaps a bit reckless at the start, but the agent has to admire her spirit anyway. Angela is earnestness and bravery wrapped in a gorgeous package; she’s a leap of faith without hesitation and soft lips beneath the water as he breathes air into her lungs.

Maybe his immediate attraction is a reaction to Claire’s presence at the airport, but Leon doesn’t think so. Claire chose peace instead of battle and while he’ll always love her, he’s not the man that her heart wants. The two of them are friends now, nothing more, and he’s made his peace with that. He’s the guy who helps Claire coordinate her Zombie Hunter barbecues when he has a break between missions and the one who kicks her brother's ass at cornhole every chance he gets. 

Leon wants to get along with Chris – partly for Claire’s sake and partly because the man is a legend in this business – but both of them are too damn competitive. When the other man laid down the challenge after his sister introduced them, the agent couldn’t say no and at least this way he doesn’t have to talk. Leon has always sucked at making conversation, especially with people that he likes, and he’d rather not show Chris Redfield just how awkward he can be.

Besides, Claire usually seems amused by their bickering and keeping her happy is all that he can ask. When she isn’t, the agent is usually the first one who hears about it. He’s the guy who listens when she has a nasty breakup or needs a sounding board for her ideas, just like he does for Sherry when he can.

So Leon doesn’t flirt with Angela just to spite Claire. He’s not chasing a reflection because he can’t have the sun. The agent honestly likes this woman and he fights to save her with everything he has.

With Claire’s help, the two of them search out the source of this new outbreak. The trail leads them to WilPharma and Angela’s own brother, but even when he’s overrun by the G-Virus, she never loses hope. Angela never gives up and Leon loves her for it; he’s always had a weakness for strong women kicking ass.

So when it’s finally over, when the outbreak is contained and her brother is dead and buried, Leon supports Angela through her grief as best he can. He knows the pain of faded names though none of his are family, knows that sometimes what you need the most is a chance to fall apart.

The two of them date for several months, finding time to be together in-between his missions and her job. It’s sweet and uncomplicated, the longest relationship he’s managed since Sarah crushed his heart, and the agent is grateful for each moment while it lasts.

Leon truly loves her but eventually Angela remembers that she wants a man who's normal. She wants to build a life with someone who didn't help to kill her brother and the agent cannot blame her for telling him goodbye. He loves her so he lets her go; he's getting good at that.

If his rebound involves Ada, a shitty date, and too much alcohol, Leon will never tell.

\---

Buddy is different. Buddy is like a bruise he cannot shake. The man is calloused hands and burning anger, the ache of ropes around his wrist. Leon understands his need for vengeance but plagas aren't the answer. The agent can't accept that, not after all the years that he's spent fighting to protect humanity.

So Leon tries to talk to Buddy after he’s taken prisoner; he tries to make him understand. The rebel isn't evil, just hurting and misguided, and the faded name around his neck makes the agent ache with sympathy. He can see a good man underneath the fury, a good man turned to violence by despair. 

Maybe that’s why Leon refuses to abandon Buddy and his comrades when he’s ordered to pull back. He won’t leave these men to die. So the agent stays to fight, going AWOL from his mission, but most of the rebels simply perish anyway.

One by one, they're slain by monsters and ganados, by the infection in their bodies and the outbreak that’s sweeping across the city like a wave. Leon cannot stop it and even seeing Ada doesn’t ease that knot of pain. At first the agent thinks that this might be her fault; she’s the one who deals in black market viruses.

But when she says this wasn’t her, Leon finds that he believes it. By now the agent thinks he knows what she looks like when she’s lying; she makes the same expression every time she kisses him and says it's the last time.

Of course, that doesn’t mean she’s telling him the whole truth either and Leon doesn't bother to ask about her mission. He's certain that their goals don't coincide. Yet despite Ada's penchant for betrayal, experience has taught him to trust her information. So the agent listens when she tells him that President Svetlana Belikova is behind this latest outbreak. She's the one using monsters to fight the rebels in her country; she's the reason Buddy's best friend gets infected and Leon has to take his life. The loss of JD leaves the rebel even more determined to get revenge at any cost and the agent loses sight of him when bombs bring the building down. 

However, Leon knows exactly where Buddy must be going so he infiltrates the palace on his own. He climbs down an elevator shaft to the main B.O.W. Control room and he's not surprised to discover that Ada got there first. At this point he's fairly certain that the woman can actually teleport. Leon's not even surprised when she takes her prize and leaves him to fight Svetlana's soldiers on his own.

However, the agent is caught off guard when Buddy crashes their standoff with a pack of Lickers, the creatures cutting through the president's troops easily. The rebel isn't here to rescue Leon; he just wants to kill Svetlana. But his arrival feels like a big damn hero moment anyway.

Indeed, a familiar itch crawls across his ribs when Buddy grins triumphantly. Although they still have their disagreements, the two of them are on the same damn side here and he wants this man to get his justice. The agent wants Buddy to keep smiling in the future like he's smiling right now.

But for that, Leon needs to take Svetlana into custody and the woman has no intention of surrendering. She activates far too many Tyrants for the agent's peace of mind, using them to cover her escape. Soon he and Buddy are fighting for their lives and he never thought that he'd be sorry to see a Licker die. Just this once, Leon works with monsters to kill monsters, an uneasy truce to keep them both alive.

The men use every resource they possess to fight the Tyrants: Lickers, knives, and elevators when their guns start to go dry. Buddy's hand is warm in Leon's as he pulls him free to safety – or at least the illusion while it lasts. Even tanks are not enough to save them when the Tyrants just keep coming and soon Buddy says that he should run. The other man is fading fast as the plaga grows inside him and he can't escape the monsters now.

But Leon just can't do it. He can't face another faded name, another good man down.

So he holsters his empty gun and pulls his knife instead. Maybe this is his last stand. Maybe the agent's luck has finally run out. But they'll live or die together because he won't abandon Buddy, not when all his instincts scream that the man is worth protecting, no matter what the cost. Leon has learned to trust those instincts after years of fighting B.O.W.s and when their lives are saved at the last minute by military intervention, the rebel proves him right.

Buddy asks Leon to kill him before the plaga takes control; he wants to die while still himself just like Manuela did. And once again the agent cannot grant that request.

Even though it's selfish, he can't do it. He cannot have that death upon his hands. So Leon shoots the plaga, severing Buddy's spine while leaving him still breathing, and he hopes the other man forgives his cowardice someday.

He takes Buddy to the hospital before calling Hunnigan and reporting that all the rebels died. The agent empties out his bank account to pay for the best treatment; it's not as though he has much use for money anyway. He stays as long as possible, waiting until Buddy wakes so that he can say goodbye. The other man is hardly lucid but Leon wants to say he's sorry and he takes Buddy's anger as no more than he deserves.

God it hurts to leave him there when he falls back asleep. Leon writes the man a letter, trying to explain all the things that he'll never get to say. He tells Buddy that the president has been arrested for her actions about his deception. Leon tells the other man that he's been given a fresh start and begs him to seize it with both hands.

 _You're a good man, Sasha,_ the agent finishes. _Hate me if you need to, but please don't give up on your future. Remembering the ones you've lost doesn't mean you can't be happy. If you can't live for yourself, then live for them instead._

The words feel utterly inadequate. Buddy deserves more than one brief conversation that he probably won't remember and this crappy explanation. Leon wishes he could stay to help the other man build a new life from the ashes, but whatever his own feelings, he has no right to expectations and Buddy will be safer with him gone.

If Leon leaves now, his government will have no reason to keep searching for Alexander Kozachenko, not when Buddy is the name upon his skin. As far as his handlers know, the agent has never lied to them and he'll do whatever it takes to keep their attention far away from the Eastern Slav Republic. He knows the DSO would kill for a test subject who once held a master plaga; but they have Sherry and Manuela, he won't give them Buddy too.

Leon leaves the letter and his flask on the bedside table. That's his penance and his gift, the best that he can do. Then he walks away, trying to ignore the ache inside his chest as he calls Hunnigan. She arranges his extraction and when the plane arrives, the agent's heart grows heavier with every step he takes.

This shouldn't be so difficult. It's not as though anyone has trouble leaving him. But long after Buddy's country has disappeared on the horizon, Leon just keeps bleeding anyway.

\---

The agent knows that he'd be lost without Ingrid Hunnigan. She's been the voice inside his ear for years, his mission coordinator and his connection to the outside world while in the field. Honestly, Hunnigan is the closest thing that Leon gets to backup on most missions and she's a damn good friend as well.

It took them time to get here. At first, he kept her at a distance, professional while on a mission and nothing off the clock. Sure the agent joked and flirted but he didn't really mean it; he was honestly surprised when she finally said yes. 

Of course, Leon couldn't tell her that so the two of them went out for drinks after his next mission and it was awkward from the start. Neither one was good at small talk and the agent didn't want to jump straight into bed. Although he definitely found Hunnigan attractive, he also knew that colleagues made atrocious one night stands.

Thankfully, Hunnigan proved to be on the same wavelength. Leon was racking his brain for the words to end this gracefully when the woman said that she'd rather be his wingman and their night was much more pleasant after that.

Indeed, the two of them bonded quickly and now Leon considers her the best friend he's ever had. As much as he loves Claire, they rarely see each other and being in two separate time zones makes it hard to just hang out. But Hunnigan shares the agent's hours and bizarre sleep schedule. He can always count on her to join him for spontaneous movie marathons when he can't shake insomnia and soon they have a fine tradition of post-mission gossip fests. She gives Leon shit for every bruise while he snarks back about her outfits until the agent almost feels like a real man again.

Hunnigan is his rock, a better friend then he deserves, and he cares about her fiercely. Sometimes Leon thinks she keeps him sane, picking up the pieces after a dozen different outbreaks shatter him apart. However, the agent doesn't know he loves her until she hands him a letter from the Eastern Slav Republic, roughly four months after the mission that almost claimed Buddy's life.

“You'll probably want to read this by yourself,” Hunnigan says as Leon gapes at her in shock. “Just tell me if you want to send back a reply.”

The woman doesn't offer any further explanation but the agent doesn't need it. Her words tell him that Hunnigan has known about Buddy all along. Maybe not everything, but she knows that he's alive. She knows that Leon lied and she's kept his secret all this time. Not only that, but she's prepared to be the courier between them. Leon never would have risked a letter through the normal channels, not when he's fairly sure that the DSO reads all his mail, and he never would have asked Hunnigan to put her position on the line. 

But she did it anyway. She took the first step on her own because she knew that he was hurting and Leon will never be able to repay her. Not when she's the reason that he knows Buddy doesn't hate him, though the letter also says that he's not forgiven yet.

Hunnigan has given Leon hope that he might be in the future, that he and Buddy might keep in touch and become good friends in time. There's no chance for romance, not with the roads they've taken, but friendship is so much more than the agent thought he'd get.

Hunnigan could have ruined him with this information. She could have used it to destroy him and his family but she chose to help instead. Whatever issues Leon has with the DSO – and there are many – Hunnigan has proved that she will always have his back. This is when the agent starts to trust her without any reservations and it seems fitting that her mark appears around the wrist that holds his radio.

\---

Tall Oaks is a nightmare, seventy-thousand people dead in one fell swoop while Leon is saddled with a partner that he doesn't fully trust. The agent is only with Helena because she tried to give him warning and it wasn't fast enough. He had to watch the president turn into a zombie, had to kill a person that he truly did respect.

So Leon doesn't like Helena. He tolerates her presence because she keeps saying she has answers and he would work with literally anyone to find the evil bastard who caused this new attack.

At least he still has Hunnigan. Leon called her when the city went to hell around him and she agreed to help even though she's off the clock. Hunnigan acts as his and ears, leading the agents through the chaos, and her voice a familiar comfort as one survivor after another slips right through his hands. Helena keeps saying that he's wasting time when he tries to save these people, but Leon can't shake the feeling that she's the reason for his failure. If he had a better partner: Ada or Claire, Chris, Luis or even Krauser, maybe then he could have saved these innocents.

Leon wants to hate Helena when they reach the outbreak’s source and she admits she helped to cause it, though the evidence proves that Derek Simmons was the grand mastermind. And yet…the woman loves her younger sister. She only worked with Simmons to protect her and the man used Deborah as a lab rat to perfect his weapon anyway. Leon watches her heart break when her sister is past saving; he watches the name Debbie fade upon her arm and only a monster could feel nothing at her pain.

Helena may be a shitty partner but she's not a murderer by choice and when Simmons frames the two of them for this disaster, she's all that Leon has. Her and Hunnigan. The agent’s best friend never doubts him despite the evidence. She simply fakes their deaths and gives him the information he requires to keep chasing Simmons down. 

Without Hunnigan, Leon would have been lost before he started and Helena Harper can't compare. But even so the woman starts to grow on him.

Maybe it's the seventh time she shoots a zombie off him or the fact that she doesn't give him too much shit about their plane's crash landing. Maybe it's the way she backs him up when they run into Sherry on the streets of Lanshiang, China and Wesker's son, Jake Muller, tries to punch him in the face. The kid is rough around the edges – very, very rough – but Sherry seems to trust him. So Leon keeps his temper and doesn’t put him down.

However, when the agent discovers that his daughter has been missing for _six months_ and no one ever told him, he’s fucking furious. Everyone kept saying that she was on a mission when Leon tried to call her and he’d been starting to wonder just what was going on. But this is inexcusable. This is cause for murder in his mind. However, before Leon can find out which person needs a bullet, they're attacked and separated, leaving him with just Helena once again.

Yet it doesn't feel as strained now. It's them against the virus, against Simmons, and the other agent seems to grow more solid as they descend the rabbit hole. From fighting Chris for Ada – and ain't that a damn reunion – to finding Derek Simmons and protecting Jake and Sherry, Helena starts to be a decent partner after all.

When the whole city is infected, she's right there at his shoulder with a weapon in her hands. She doesn't even question his relationship with Ada, doesn't imply that he is compromised like so many have before. Helena seems to recognize his feelings but she accepts his judgment, even tells him to chase Ada when she saves his life again.

Leon appreciates the offer even though he cannot take it. He won't leave his partner in a war zone and he learned the futility of chasing after Ada years ago. She finds him when she wants to, loves him as best she can, and he tries to be content with what he has. The agent can live with stolen moments, kisses in the dark because he's too afraid to ask the woman if his name is on her heart. That way lies only madness and when he tells Helena that it's complicated, he thinks she understands.

Together they finish Simmons, clearing their names and completing their mission at a cost. With Jake's help, the C-Virus will be cured just like the others, but that will not raise the dead. It won't bring back Chris' partner, Helena's sister, or everyone in Tall Oaks that he lost.

Leon and Helena part as friends and colleagues, nothing more, and yet, when he finally gets home, the agent has to laugh. Because there's another name drawn upon his ankle: Helena Harper in a rich dark chocolate brown. If he can’t even work with a new partner without loving them a little, his heart is truly hopeless after all.


	4. Veteran

After New York and Arias, Leon wants to pass out for a week. He's exhausted, bruised, and battered; even showering was painful and putting on his shirt seems far too difficult. So the agent is only half-dressed when Chris Redfield walks into the locker room. Leon would know those footsteps anywhere even if he hadn’t seen the man's reflection from the corner of his eye. However, the agent doesn't turn around. That would put his marks on full display and Chris doesn't need another reason to tear him into pieces; this mission proved that well enough.

So Leon tries to ignore the other man, hoping he'll get lucky and Chris will do the same. But the universe still hates him because the captain doesn't leave. He just stares at Leon until the agent wants to scream.

“My name is on your back,” Chris says finally, his voice cracking on the words and that's…. not what he expected.

“I've got a lot of names; don't take it personal,” Leon tells him quietly. The mark must be a new addition but he doesn't have the energy to panic and if he’s being honest, it’s not exactly a surprise. “At least this way I'll know if you ever need avenging. Though I doubt that I’ll be first in line.”

“But you hate me. Don't you?” the captain asks, sounding completely baffled.

“Why would I hate you?” Leon answers, twisting around so that he can see Chris’ face. The other man seems serious but the question makes no sense; hating him is inconceivable. “We're in the same damn business, aren't we? And you're Claire's older brother. She still thinks you hung the moon.”

“What about China?” Chris retorts. “Or, hell, this whole damn mission? It seems like all I've done is yell at you for days.”

“You had good reason,” the agent tells him with an awkward shrug, the motion pulling on his bruises painfully. “Bad day or not, I needed a good kick in the ass. I should have listened earlier. But look, can you save the lecture for tomorrow? Otherwise, I'm gonna fall asleep right here. I'm getting too damn old for this.”

“Jesus, Leon, I don't plan to lecture you!” the captain bursts out before reining in his temper visibly. He rubs a hand across his face and Leon's exhausted mind struggles to understand. The other man looks…. sad? And as much as the agent doesn't want to have this conversation, he just can't live with that.

“All right, how about brunch?” Leon offers and Chris' head snaps up.

“What?”

“You know, brunch? You, me, waffles, and a whole lot of orange juice? You clearly want to talk about this and I'm going to be starving whenever I wake up.”

“Yeah, okay, I can do that,” the other man agrees. He still seems a bit confused but he’s not lecturing or crying so Leon takes that as a win. “It's about midnight now so 2pm? That'll give us both a chance to rest.”

“Works for me. The DSO still thinks I'm on vacation so unless the world decides to end, I shouldn't get a call. Not for another day at least.”

Chris winces at his words and Leon's not sure why. Maybe he feels guilty about interrupting the agent's holiday? But Arias had to be stopped and it's not as though Leon had been doing anything productive. If Chris and Rebecca hadn't found him, he'd probably still be drinking away his pain in Colorado and his liver will be grateful for the break. Honestly, fighting zombies while hungover was bad enough the first time. After this he never wants to be that drunk again. He'll remember his squad sober from now on; their memories deserve that, just like all his fallen dead.

So Leon goes back to dressing, wincing in pain when he starts to lift his arms. He doesn't think to ask for help; he's used to managing. But the captain rushes forward to assist him anyway.

Chris is just being Chris, he knows that. But the other man is careful of his bruises, more gentle than expected, and Leon wants to enjoy the illusion while it lasts. It's nice to have someone fussing over him, though he shivers when strong fingers brush across his back. He's used to hiding all his names– by now it's practically instinct – and even Ada has never had the chance to touch her mark. But Leon is sure it's accidental. The captain wouldn’t fuck with him like that.

Once he's fully dressed, Chris insists on taking him to the infirmary. Leon tries to protest, but the other man won't listen and he's too exhausted for a fight. So he goes to make Chris happy, letting the doctor poke and prod him until she's satisfied.

When the woman finally lets him go, proscribing bed rest and an ice-pack, the agent wants to roll his eyes. He didn’t need a doctor to know that nothing’s broken, though he thanks her anyway. Someday he might actually require medical attention and it never hurts to be polite.

When Leon leaves the infirmary, he's surprised to find Chris waiting in the hall. He assumed the captain would have sought his bed by now.

But it’s probably a good thing that he didn’t. The floor is looking pretty tempting at the moment and if not for Chris, Leon might have passed out in the hall. So he follows the other man to a spare room, trying not to stumble too badly along the way. He may be utterly exhausted but he refuses to make the captain carry him.

By the time they arrive, the agent can barely keep both his eyes open. He mumbles his agreement when Chris says that he’ll call later and then staggers toward the bed. Leon barely even notices the click of the door closing before he collapses on the mattress and he doesn’t so much fall asleep as pass out instantly.

\---

When Leon wakes up, it takes him a minute to remember why his entire body hurts. He's black and blue from head to toe and still a bit hungover, but the agent knows he'll heal up soon enough. Considering the way that Arias was throwing him around, he’s lucky to be alive and sometimes he wonders if his plaga left a gift behind. No one should hit that many walls without breaking anything.

His head is still fuzzy as he stumbles to the bathroom; he needs another shower after sleeping in his clothes. Leon strips and washes off mechanically, unable to shake the feeling that there’s something else he’s missing. Something important he should be remembering. However, the agent just can't place it, not until he glances in the mirror and sees the blocky letters scrawled across his back.

The name is unmistakable, _Chris Redfield_ written in bold color, and last night's conversation comes rushing back.

“Ahh, fuck,” Leon mutters with a sigh. He doesn't care that he's in love with Chris. The man is as magnetic as his sister, an actual action hero, and one of the few people that the agent really trusts. Chris still believes that the world’s worth saving and Leon has always tried to live up to that example despite everything he's seen. The captain is kind and skilled and scorchingly attractive, his arms the sort of ripped that makes the agent's knees go weak. Leon loving him was probably inevitable the way that his heart bleeds and that’s honestly all right.

He doesn’t mind the mark but he minds that Chris found out.

As much as Leon respects the man, he's not sure the feeling's mutual. How can it be when he always seems to fuck things up whenever the captain is around? Case in point, their latest mission: Leon picked a bad time to get drunk and then Rebecca nearly died because of him.

While the other man is too decent to freak out, that doesn't mean he'll be happy about the agent’s feelings. Their relationship is bound to be more awkward after this and they still have to work together; it would have been better if Chris just stayed oblivious. The way things stand between them, being let down gently is the best that Leon hopes for and he'd rather get it over with as soon as possible.

So he’s dressed and ready long before Chris calls him, pacing back and forth with restless energy. When his phone finally rings, the agent nearly drops it in his haste to answer, “This is Kennedy.”

“Are you ready to eat?” the captain asks and Leon wants to tell him no. But he’s the one who suggested this whole plan of action and if he's going to be disappointed, he might as well have breakfast first.

So the agent agrees to meet Chris in a few minutes and then makes his way downstairs. The other man is already there and his smile makes Leon’s traitorous heart flutter in his chest. But he knows he’s being stupid so he simply follows Chris when the captain leads him out onto the street and starts walking purposefully.

After a couple blocks, the man stops at an actual restaurant and waves Leon inside. “As requested: brunch. You're lucky that we're in New York. Otherwise, we would have had to settle for a waffle house instead.”

Leon is honestly surprised that Chris went to this much trouble to find him brunch at 2pm. It's really rather sweet but the agent can’t afford to think like that right now. So he just fills his plate at the buffet and starts to eat, waiting for the other man to mention the elephant in the room. However, Chris seems prepared to talk about the weather and their mutual friends forever and eventually Leon just can't take it anymore.

“Look, you don't have to keep me company or be so…. so _nice_. I’m a grown man; I know this doesn’t make you obligated,” the agent says with a vague gesture toward his back. “I don't expect anything from you.”

That’s not entirely the truth. Leon expects Chris to take the out and run away as fast as possible. But instead the other man just frowns.

“Maybe you should,” he says, sounding strangely exasperated. “If you consider me a friend, you should expect me to be decent. I really do admire you, Leon. I know I've been crap at showing it but I want to do better in the future. So we should get coffee sometime. Or maybe just go bowling? It seems like we only ever meet up when the world's about to end or at Claire's crazy barbecues.”

“Seriously, bowling?” Leon has to ask. This conversation is definitely not going the way that he expected and yet there's something just so _Chris_ about that suggestion. It's honestly adorable and he finds himself grinning helplessly.

“Hey, there's nothing wrong with bowling,” the other man retorts, smiling back at him. “It's a classic. Or is the great Agent Kennedy afraid to admit that he's uncoordinated? I bet you throw all gutter balls.”

“Are you serious? I've kicked your ass at cornhole ten years straight; I can kick your ass at bowling too,” the agent counters. He can’t help it; he’s always been competitive but the captain doesn't seem to mind.

“Then it's a date. We'll see who wins this time.”

“You'll be eating those words, Redfield,” Leon replies before his mind catches up with his ears. “Wait…. a date?”

“Only if you want to,” Chris tells him, his smile softening. “Maybe it will work out, maybe it won't, but I'd like to give this thing a shot. What do you say, Leon? From what I've heard, you make a habit of jumping off tall places. Want to take another leap?”

The agent wants to say yes. He wants to scream it to the world and grab this opportunity before he loses his last chance. But instead he hears himself answer, “I slept with your sister once.”

Leon can’t believe he said that. He claps one hand over his mouth, his face flushing with mortification as the captain stares at him in shock. But then Chris starts to snicker; the man laughs until his shoulders shake and he has to wipe tears from his eyes.

“God, you're bad at this,” he says, still chuckling.

“I'm sorry, I just thought that you should know,” the agent snaps, hunching in his chair defensively. “If we do this, you'll probably see her name and I didn't want you to flip out.”

“Hey, no, it's okay. I didn't mean it like that,” Chris tells him, reaching out to grab his hand. “I don't care about your past, Leon. I want to date the man you are, not the guy you used to be. Unless you're still pining after Claire?”

“Of course not. I love your sister and I don’t regret that memory but we're better off as friends. She has her own life now, far away from all this death, and anyway she's much too good for me,” Leon says and the words don't even sting. “Are you sure that you don't mind? It's not just Claire; I have a lot of names, Chris, and most people think it's weird.”

“Even the ones who love you?” the other man asks quietly.

He seems to be expecting some kind of revelation but the agent simply shrugs. “I wouldn’t know. No one has ever had my name before.”

“I think you'd be surprised,” the captain answers and Leon feels like he should be offended by Chris' snort of disbelief. But the fingers stroking across his hand soothe his ruffled feathers and he finds himself smiling instead.

“All right, Chris, let's try it. You can take me bowling and once I crush your high score, I get to pick date number two.”

He's still a little nervous that the other man will change his mind, that he'll see the names on Leon's skin and decide he wants a person who's more careful with their heart. But the agent is gonna risk it anyway.

There's no point in playing safe when he loves this man already and he wants to discover if the feeling's justified. He wants to get to know Chris better. Leon wants to meet the man behind the hero, the person that Claire speaks of so highly, and leaping without looking has worked out for him before. Sure he's crashed a time or two but the good memories outweigh the bad by his own reckoning. So Leon leans across the table to press their lips together and when Chris kisses back, the future doesn't seem as bleak as it did yesterday.

_End_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this thing kind of turned into a series without my consent. I hope at least a few people want to see Chris' pov of this last chapter.

**Author's Note:**

> This has nothing to do with this fic. But does anyone else remember those truly epic RE fics that were posted on their own site? It was this awful bright text on a dark background that made me feel like I was going blind, but they were some of the best Steve Burnside slash I've ever found with a fair amount of Leon/Claire as well. There was the Wesker/Steve one where he attacked Leon with the Code Veronica axe and all that Wesker/Birkin/Steve nonsense... I wonder if those are still floating around somewhere.


End file.
